This candle lighting ceremony is one way to honour those we grieve. It can enlighten your inner darkness of grief to bring an open heart and a calming presence. It can be done by yourself or with others. When I have done this ceremony as part of my doula after-support for those who’s loved one has died, it has included poems, spiritual readings or simply sat in silence at the end of ceremony.
You will need four candles to do this ceremony and if you are doing it with others than you can have a candle each or have a complete set of four candles.
i) The First Candle Lights your Grief
As we light these four candles in honor of our loved ones, we light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories, and one for our love.
ii) The Second Candle Shines for Our Courage to Change
The light of the second candle represents our courage to confront our sorrow; to comfort each other and to change our lives.
iii) The Third Candle Illuminates Our Memories
This third candle is a light to all of our memories.
To the times:
we were angry with each other;
we did silly things;
we cared for each other;
all these memories gave us JOY.
iv) The Fourth Candle Reflects Our Love Living On
This fourth candle is the light of our love, as we enter this day, we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We give thanks for the gift your life brought to each of us. We will love you always.
Finish the Ceremony
After finishing lighting each of the candles and either sitting in silence or reading poems/ spiritual text, take the time to reach out to talk to someone about your emotions or journal.
Blessing to you.